9 Steps to Orgasmic Bliss

Do you ever feel that everyone else is having way better orgasms than you? Like you’ve kind of missed a pleasure memo somewhere?

It’s no surprise when we are bombarded with wild and steamy sex scenes in movies, and stories in magazines. The truth is, real-life sex isn’t like what we see on-screen. But, there are some great ways to ramp up the heat in your bedroom. Here are 9 of my favourite steps to help you reach orgasmic bliss!!

1. Breathe. Take full, deep breaths during sex to energise & revitalise your body. Breathing deeply helps you to relax, release stress, and open up to more pleasure.

2. Make sound. Allow your body to release any sounds that naturally want to escape. Don't hold it in. Sigh, moan, groan, growl. If emotions arise, sound them out. There is no wrong way to do this!

3. Movement. Give your body permission to move any way it wants to - unleash it from what you think looks sexy & let your body move. Arch, lift, thrust, twist, shake, grab, curl. Let your body be ALIVE! Don't hold back.

4. Mindfulness. Get out of your head - forget about the to-do list. Be fully present with the sensations in your body, in your connection to the source of all energy, to your partner (if you are having coupled sex). Sex can be a potent form of meditation. And staying present means you’re much more likely to experience the big O!

5. Build the energy. Keep the energy building with continued touch. Alternate between kissing, touch of non-genital areas & genital stimulation. Visualise the energy building up, getting brighter & spreading through your body.

6. Stimulate the clitoris. The VAST majority of vulva owners require direct or indirect clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm, so don't ignore the clit! Use a clean finger, penis, toy or mouth - with lube. Try varying strokes to see what feels best and then maintain it.

7. Combine with internal sensation. If it feels comfortable & you so desire, insert a penis, finger or toy into the vagina to provide a feeling of fullness. You can try stimulating the vaginal walls to see if there are any erogenous zones here.

8. Squeeze the vaginal walls. Try to squeeze or pulse the muscles of the vagina and anus, as if you were trying to stop the flow of urine. This pumps up the sexual energy and can stimulate an orgasm.

9. Let go of the outcome. You can't MAKE yourself have an orgasm, you have to let it happen. Try not to 'chase' an orgasm if you feel close. Relax & allow the experience to be whatever it will be & let yourself enjoy it regardless of what happens.

These 9 steps are your homework, and your time to shine baby! Have fun!

- Lisa Welsh

Lisa is a Sexual Empowerment and Pleasure Coach who helps people to overcome sexual shame and insecurities so that they can step into their true orgasmic nature.

More from Lisa at her website (www.inbedwithlisa.com) or Instagram (@inbedwithlisa).

Oral tips for pleasuring vulvas!

In this one juicy post, I’ve gathered a whole host of my most amazing techniques for performing oral sex on your vulva-owning lover! Send them over to the blog to thank me later. 😉

Reassurance

Many vulva owners feel too embarrassed to allow themselves to enjoy oral sex. They might think they look ugly or have a strange taste or smell. They might worry that they're taking too long. Reassure them that you are enjoying the experience, be specific and real about what you love about it. This step is a game changer!!

Consistency

Vulvas enjoy a consistent stroke, so if your partner is enjoying something - KEEP GOING, unless they tell you otherwise. And if they're too embarrassed to tell you verbally, you can read their body language for cues. As Shakira said, the hips don't lie!

Pressure

It's a generalisation, but penis owners tend to be a bit too rough with vulvas, while vulva owners tend to be too gentle with penises. Everyone is different, so play with different levels of pressure, asking for feedback as you go and always start very gently!

Start Slow

A great first move is to use a flat, soft tongue to make long, slow, gentle licks from the vaginal canal up to the clitoris. Repeat again. And again. Mmmm and again!

Lick techniques

Here are some different techniques you can try... you don't have to try them all in one session!

● Lick up and down across the clit.

● Lick to one side of the clit.

● Lick side to side across the clit.

● Lick diagonally across the clit.

● Go in circles around the clit.

Always pay attention to body language to see what's working!

Suck

It might surprise you to learn that the clitoris is the anatomical equivalent of the penis. Many of the things that penises love also feel good for clitorises too. So... try gently sucking your partner's clit and see if it's a winning move!

Penetration

If your partner consents, try including penetration. The female erectile network (clitoris) extends internally inside of the vagina (g-spot), so inserting one or two fingers inside while you use your tongue on their clit might feel amazing.

Bottom Line

Always keep in mind that your enjoyment is also very important for your lover. It’s SUPER hot if you’re into it - and totally obvious if you’re not.

So do it your way! If there’s a part of giving oral sex that you love – revel in it and go wild. If there’s a part you want to avoid – get creative and minimise or remove it altogether.

The most important thing is that you both have fun!

- Lisa Welsh

Lisa is a Sexual Empowerment and Pleasure Coach who helps people to overcome sexual shame and insecurities so that they can step into their true orgasmic nature.

More from Lisa at her website (www.inbedwithlisa.com) or Instagram (@inbedwithlisa).

Bondage For Beginners!

The world of BDSM is vast & might seem intimidating, so consider this blog a first taster into the first letter of that acronym.

B (bondage & discipline)

D (dominance & submission

S (sadism)

M (masochism)

Bondage is all about tying, restraining, binding & even suspending your partner… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Why?

Let me paint a picture… You’re on the bed with your hands tied about your head, you’re blindfolded, you can sense your partner moving around you, you feel them getting closer, their breath on your body (DELICIOUS ANTICIPATION).

They stroke your waist with their fingertips, it’s electrifying & you want more… they kiss your toes & it blows your mind (HEIGHTENED SENSATION), your adrenaline builds as they begin to tease you - & then stop & then tease & then stop until you’re begging…

OMG. The unparalleled mystery of wondering where your partner will touch you next - coupled with the new sensation of the rope gently chaffing your wrists/ankles… In one word… bondage is exciting. Did I capture your attention? Then let’s get to the serious stuff.

SAFETY

• Rope bondage is never 100% risk-free - which is why informed consent is essential.

• Take your time & practice knots with online tutorials. There are loads of great ones available. Begin with a single column knot which can be used to bind wrists/ankles & is the foundation of many other ties.

• Be careful of cutting off circulation.

• Never tie around the neck.

• Never leave a tied-up person unattended.

• Chat about medical conditions/prior injuries.

• Keep a good pair of scissors handy.

TRUST

• Bondage is NOT for strangers. So, don’t take your handcuffs to your next tinder date Sophie. ;)

• Informed & ongoing consent is essential.

• The psychological power play of surrender & control can actually enrich your relationship.

• Trust will deepen over time as your BDSM practice progresses.

• Use a safe word that will stop all play immediately - Pineapple is a favourite choice!

WHERE TO START

Introduce the idea with a book, a movie, or my favourite line “My friend told me about this thing & it sounds really hot…”

Plant the seed & nurture some curiosity.

If it’s a yes, start simply, you don’t need a whole tool-box to begin. Try holding your partner’s arms down & see what that’s like… “Mmm I loved it when you did that, let’s try it again with handcuffs…”

Then when you get online you can explore the exciting range of tools available. It will feel like you’re opening Pandora’s box of pleasure!!

Moonlight Candy has a fabulous choice of light bondage items to help you take baby-steps into the world of BDSM - to take a look!

- Lisa Welsh

Lisa is a Sexual Empowerment and Pleasure Coach who helps people to overcome sexual shame and insecurities so that they can step into their true orgasmic nature.

More from Lisa at her website (www.inbedwithlisa.com) or Instagram (@inbedwithlisa).